Friends dating sri lanka
Friends dating sri lanka
During my first few weeks backpacking around Sri Lanka, I’d felt uncomplicated rage at the general pattern of male/female dynamics, where girls’ virginity is tested before marriage and couples rarely do more than hold hands before their wedding day.Yet widows are widely seen as “easy” because of their vulnerability (few men would marry a “used” woman), and white women are taunted with jeers like, “Do you like the f**king?
As soon as I yelled at them to go away, they recoiled in alarm, as if they couldn’t believe a white girl would be offended by an uninvited caress from a stranger.
When I got off the bus a few hours later, I was thrilled to find a beach touristy enough for me to sunbathe in a bikini without being harassed by local men.
While I dove and splashed in clear, green waves, women in saris stood on the sweltering shore, dipping their toes in the froth.
Because if boys see us, they try to grab us.” “That’s awful,” I said, letting the ball of curry I was about to eat fall out of my hand. “But I think is normal to be raped in your country.” “No, no, no,” I said, shaking my head vigorously.
I struggled to couch my objections in simple language. As I walked Sarasi to the bus, I protested that rape is never “normal,” and that keeping women locked at home is no way to combat sexual violence.
And Sampath said he also had a couple of friends who were devoted—and successful—seducers of younger tourists.
On a packed bus later that day, I thought of other, smaller cultural transgressions I’d witnessed: white girls wearing tank tops or skirts that came above their knees, white girls drinking beer with Sri Lankan guys.
It would take me at least that long to walk back to my guesthouse, but I wasn’t too worried about being accosted by demons on the way. ” I asked Sarasi, a 19-year-old college student I’d met while walking around Kandy Lake in central Sri Lanka.
She’d asked me if she could practice her English with me; we spent most of the next week together.
This was the first time I’d heard a Sri Lankan man openly address sexuality in a way that was not a come-on.
Eager to carry the discussion further, I told him about the time I got so mad at a man who wouldn’t stop following me that I yelled, “Just because I’m white does not mean I want sex! Then he explained—self-evidently enough—that men see movies in which white girls show off their bodies and seem to revel in promiscuity.
It was only later that I remembered the oft-cited Department of Justice statistic that one in four American women experiences rape or attempted rape during college.