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'It used to be very much an empty-nest phenomenon for the over-fifties, but this week alone I've met five new women all under 40.Women in their twenties and thirties belong to the "Because I'm Worth It" generation.

She has two mobiles: one for general use and one for EMAs (extramarital affairs, to use the jargon), which can only be accessed by a pin number and is set on silent mode so that her husband, Brian, an events manager, can't hear texts arriving.All the women I spoke to were obsessive about covering their technical tracks.Laura, 51, a reflexologist from Hertfordshire, with a teenage son, has had three affairs over the past 10 years with men she has met on various websites.'The problem was where to keep them and how to wash them?I could have worn them every day but after 13 years of greying M&S pants and flesh-coloured bras Peter would have been rightly suspicious.'We have sex, we chat, we go back to our families,' Sheila tells me over a cappuccino.

'I'm not looking for a soul mate, I'm looking for physical release. The girls were small and sex with him had long been just another chore, like loading the dishwasher.Six years ago she married Billy, a stockbroker, gave up her administrative job and moved out of London.'I'd bought into a media image of rich husband, house in the country, stay-at-home yummy mummy,' she says. Billy is away a lot for work and I'm bored and lonely at home with the kids.They had a much freer sexual history when they were single and they have far more expectations of good sex.Of course, once they're married it doesn't carry on being like in the magazines but their copy of Cosmo is still popping through the door every month shouting six new ways to heighten orgasm tonight and they think, "It's not going to be with him indoors, he's exhausted, but what a lovely idea …"' Once the seed is planted, outlets are everywhere.It's about passion and spontaneity – having sex in the shower and up against a wall, all the things you see in movies that just never happen when you're arguing over whose turn it is to wipe the kids' bottoms.' The advent of email and mobiles have made affairs easier to run than ever before in practical, if not emotional, terms.